You're not supposed to be here anyway!

Growing up, I never thought I'd live to see the year 2000. Right before new years I was mere inches from what undoubtedly would have been a fatal car accident. 

I had wasted so much of my life, rationalizing that I wasn't going to be here long anyway, so what was the point? But what it all really all came down to was fear, I was afraid. 

I was afraid to try, I was afraid to fail. I was afraid to even think about wanting to be or want more than I was. If life had taught me anything, was that everything can and will be taken away, so why bother? We were all born into a certain life and destined for certain things so just accept that. You have no control. A victim mindset.

That New Years it hit me square in the face, "You are not supposed be here anyway, so what are you going to do with it?" 

We all have reasons and rationalizations about why we can't make it, why we can't change our lives, why we can't do or be more. It really doesnt matter whether those things are factual or something we've made up in our minds. Regardless, we make ourselves believe them. We hold on to it as if it's part of our identity, part of who we are. The hard truth is that those things may be 100% accurate and we have every reason not to, but when it comes down to it, we do have a choice, even if someone has a gun to our heads. It might not be a choice we like or one in comparison to those we view as having it easy, but it is still our choice in the end.

We are either going left or we're going right, and nothing can free us from the fact that it is still in our power and responsibility. It's a decision that we all must face, even if we try to convince ourselves, and others, of external responsibilities. 

We are either getting better or were getting worse. 

Is the decision that we are about to make, is the actions that we are about to take, is the mindset that we currently have helping or hurting, is it make us stronger or weaker.

Once I began to put things in that context, everything began to change.

My outlook, my mentality, my life.

From that point forward I began to ask the question, "What are you going to do about it, what are you going to do with it?" regardless of how good or bad a situation it was. 

Everything in this life gives power; the good, the bad and everything in between. 'What are you going to do with it?' is the only question there ever is. 

"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."

-Marcu Aurelius